8 things i started doing to become a woman of God.

for most of my faith journey, i was a christian girl. one that knew of God. one that seen God like a genie instead of Father. but this year was a shift for me, where i can confidently say that i became a woman of God. a woman for His Kingdom. a woman of valor and faith. it took a long time coming, but we’re finally walking in our calling and purpose.


these are the things i started implementing to truly embody all that God has called me to be. out of the obvious necessary communion we are to have with Abba Father, i did these 8 things to truly be His bride.

🌱1: I SPEAK LIFE.


i always had an optimistic spirit since i was a child. however, my environment influenced me into thinking this was faulty. whenever things appeared to be going wrong, i jumped to thinking the worst. i never spoke highly about things— including myself. but now i’m extremely aware of the words i speak over myself, my family + friends, and my situations. i speak Godly affirmations in moments where it should look like i should speak death. and ever since i’ve done this, my life has improved DRASTICALLY.


🌱2: I PRAY, EVEN WHEN I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT.


i underestimated the power of prayer. the very thing that keeps us connected to God. this one was hard to keep up with. because a majority of the time i did things purely off on emotion and feeling. to grow, you have to do things you necessarily don’t want to do. i developed a routine to where if i didn’t speak to God, it would disturb me. and in those moments when you don’t feel like it, are the moments you’re supposed to P.U.S.H (pray until something happens) the most. because there’s another force actively working against you to not pray. 


🌱3: REMAIN OBEDIENT TO CONVICTIONS.


let’s set something clear— personal convictions are not sins. they’re personal for a reason. God may call you to do something (or not given the proper context) without any reason. but it takes a lot of faith to remain obedient when you don’t know the why. obedience is better than sacrifice. and out of your obedience, you will reap good fruit. trust me.


🌱4: FAST AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.


this is the ultimate game-changer. it’s like fuel to your faith journey. the bible states “when” you fast. not “if” you fast. it’s a biblical principle. once i implemented fasting on a regular basis, the backsliding i used to experience in the past slowly dissipated. i see fasting as another way to intentional commune with the Trinity. set your intentions on Him and not what He can give you, and everything else will follow. those fleshy desires, demonic covenants, etc. will begin to fall and your spirit man will thrive.


🌱5: STUDY AND MEDITATE ON THE WORD.


old me used to just skim through the scriptures just to check off a good deed for the day. or to maintain my streak on the Bible app. but there’s no reward you will gain for fallacy. now, some days i’d stay on the same chapter for a week, or the same verse. whenever i’d invite God into my study sessions, the revelations i’d receive would be deeper than the surface-level things. if you’re struggling to hear the voice of God, OPEN UP THAT WORD. i’m telling you.


🌱6: BE AVAILABLE TO BE USED.


often times in church, we have people who are in ministry for all the wrong reasons— for accolades, for fortune, for validation from peers, for an ego boost. the list goes on. but now for myself, i make myself available out of love for Him and not out of performance. i sing, dance, write, play music, usher, pray, etc. from a place of His love for me. when you make yourself available, He will give you work to do. even in the slightest ways, He will use you.


🌱7: I USE MY AUTHORITY AS HIS DAUGHTER.


this one right here is powerful. as a baby christian, i was so scared of witches and warlocks, and demons. but now i understand the Kingdom and how it works. because of Jesus, i have the freedom to trample over these things. i pray as a daughter, i walk as a daughter, i minister as a daughter. and by His grace, the demonic forces that used to have me bound no longer reigns in my life. 


🌱8: I SERVE WHENEVER GOD SEES FIT.


as i continue to grow in Christ, He unveils new gifts and grace unto me. and for that i’m grateful! sometimes God will call me to serve at the most inconvenient times, but i understand that this is bigger than me. i use what God has given me to serve others. evangelism, giving, mercy, exhortation, etc. i use it ALL for His glory.


buuut, these are just a few. i hope this helps you on your journey. may you continue to be on FIRE for God.


part 2? let me know below :) 

~CINDY DONNA~

"the creative that came from The Creator."

guard your heart...

the world tells us to “follow our heart” and to do as we please. as long as you're not harming anyone in the process, you're fine.

take heed to this warning. do not do this. 

the hebrew definition of the word “guard” means to “watch over with great care.” if we were to be honest with ourselves, that’s something we’ve all failed to do. due to our own ignorance, we failed to watch over the thing that has us bound the most

the bible mentions the heart on several occasions. and those occurrences are not coincidental. clearly, the LORD wanted to make several things clear to us. 

as deceitful the heart is described to be, it’s also something we should watch over. a paradox in itself, but there’s a reason.

the heart, in a spiritual sense are the emotions and the memories. it’s where our decision-making
lies. 

the same way in a physical sense, if the heart were to stop functioning, you and i would cease to be, same goes for our heart in a spiritual sense. 

so clearly, this is something we should NOT play about. especially when it comes to relationships and dating. 

we end up heartbroken, disappointed, and hurt because we expected a standard from our earthly lover that only our Heavenly Father could fulfill. 

you can’t date like the world. simply put.

allowing anyone to have the key to your heart is essentially allowing someone to sit on the throne that was originally established for your Creator.

to make a lonnnng story short: 

surrender your heart to Him. then He will begin to shape your desires. ask the LORD to give you a heart like His.

you’re not just guarding your heart, you’re protecting your soul. your life depends on it.

be a good steward and let the LORD be the guardian of your heart today.

the lens of self-love.

"Alexa, play 'Self Love' by Dreamville."

We hear it so often. That self-love is the best love. But what I'm about to say may rock you a little bit.

It's not.

Now this isn't removing its validity. It is highly important to love yourself, but when your view of self has been twisted and turned, when society tells you you ought to love yourself in a certain way, but you don't know how to, it's extremely hard and confusing.

You can't really birth something from nothing. You can't create something that wasn't originally there in the first place. We're not God. 

If we don't know God, we don't know love. God is love. So how are we loving ourselves without the originator of love Himself?

It's impossible.

The world will tell you otherwise. But hear me when I say this (or read me lol), you can't love without Him. Genuinely. 

As human beings, there is a limit--a capacity in which we are able to do something. We're limited in how much we can help others, limited in time, limited in space. This too applies to love.

Can we get a liiiiiiittle personal? I mean, this is the creative safe space :)

Before Christ (B.C.) I had no idea that I, Cindy Donna, was loving myself incorrectly. 

Growing up, I hated myself. In fact, I actually hated everything about myself. I hated my hair, my looks, my height, my speaking/singing voice, my body, my skin tone, my upbringing...

...yeah...the list can go ONNNNN.

But in recent years I developed self-love, or so I thought.

I pampered myself. I always had my hair, makeup, nails, and lashes done. I bought myself whatever I wanted, took myself on solo dates, bought myself roses, did my daily affirmations in the mirror, went to the gym, ate right, dressed nicely-- the whole nine. 

And this isn't wrong. I encourage you to take care of yourself! But this was fleeting.

It never left me satisfied. It gave me the quick boost that I needed to sustain myself, but that was it.

 After a while, your hair follicles grow out, your lashes fall out, and the roses die.

All of these acts were just external ways of trying to heal an internal void.

Was this self-love? or was this self-idolatry?

And we've all been there. We mindlessly and blindly think that this is correct.

The problem is that we looked to ourselves to do the work of self-love without understanding its importance in the first place. and Who it stems from.

Jesus.

He's the originator of everything. But the enemy distorts everything He creates.

There is a prerequisite to truly loving ourselves. It's loving Jesus.

In Mark 12:28-31 (I challenge you to read the whole chapter, it’s honestly quite amazing), Jesus is describing the greatest commandment. That we believers should obey—to love our God with every fiber of our being. the next commandment Jesus tells us is equally as important— to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Our savior calls us to love ourselves. But we can’t do that without understanding God’s love for us. Out of the overflow of love for God, we can love ourselves. Out of the overflow of love for ourselves, we can love others.

My prayer for you is that you will never do anything from a place of lack, but of abundance, This goes for love too.

so what is self-love?

Self-love is taking the carnal lens out of our eyes and viewing ourselves as sons and daughters of the Most High.

Self-love is going out of your way to serve others, even when you don't feel like it

Self-love is spending time in the Word to understand who and Whose you are.

Self-love is not splurging on something and instead paying it forward for the next person.

Self-love is being in the presence of God instead of mindlessly scrolling through our devices.

Self-love is limiting access to people in our lives that simply don't deserve it.

Self-love is not oversharing vulnerable information to those who weren't graced for it.

Self-love is taking care of your body as a temple for the Holy Spirit.

Self-love is being patient with yourself on days you feel like giving up.

And when I finally viewed myself the way God viewed me, it changed everything. I walk differently, I speak differently, I love differently.

going from hating myself to loving myself externally, to loving myself biblically...

it hits different.

and don't get me wrong! I still do everything I listed above but with a purpose. I love with purpose. because I know where I come from. 

So, to conclude,

Self-love is loving Jesus. Period.

so let's change up our playlist just a little bit :)

"Alexa, play 'Royalty', by Tasha Cobbs."

Cindy Donna

"the creative that came from the Creator."

dying 2 self.

Matthew 16:24

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

I'm a firm believer that the song "Refiner" by Maverick City Music should've came with a warning label. ever since I sang along to that song, my life has been in complete turbulence. 

at the time I was a baby Christian, wanting God to refine me, but not understanding the depth of what I was truly asking Him to do.

singing along to the song with high emotions, tears streaming down my face, whilst allowing Holy Spirit to captivate me was beautiful--in theory. however, three years later, it now makes sense lol.

no one tells you that following Jesus, saying yes, not just with words, but with a heart posture yielded to Him (in action), will cost you everything.

let me burst your bubble really quick, you WILL lose friends, relationships, family, opportunities, social media presence, idols, the fortune. 

you will lose things you never imagined would ever leave you. 

this will bring grief...great grief. but Godly grief. your heart will begin to break for the things that break God's. a Godly sorrow is what leads to repentance. ( 2 Corinthians 7:9-10)

Jesus tells us in John that the Father prunes those that He loves. Jesus is the vine, we're the branches. in a physical sense, in order for a tree to produce good fruit, it must be pruned.

pruning produces good fruit. 

yes, it hurts. 

yes, their leaving hurt you.

yes, letting go hurts. 

but understand that this is the Lord's favor.

see, we think favor is the accumulation of fame and fortune. but sometimes favor may look like pruning, it may look like refinement, it may look like the idols in your life falling one by one.

true love corrects. 

true love refines. 

true love can only be found in Christ.

so if you're currently in a season of refinement, just know that this is for your good. you're going to produce more oil.

stop running away, and let Him refine you. let the potter form you.

when Jesus told His disciples to die to ourselves and pick up our cross (Luke 9:23-24), this meant that our old nature had to die. this is a prerequisite from the LORD.

we cannot carry our idols along with us. we can't even carry our praying, bible-thumping friends with us. we are only meant to carry our cross and follow Christ.

also, this isn't a one-time death by the way. this is something we are supposed to do daily. the more we kill our flesh, the more our spirit thrives.

dying to self is an excruciating process, but it's worth it. because you're not dying alone. Jesus took the first step. now it's your turn.

a new creation.

2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

So, I’ve been in a consecration period for three months. One of my very good friends suggested to me that we’d do a 3-month social media fast. I was hesitant at first because after going through something traumatically intense, social media was my kryptonite. it kept my mind off of reality.

I consumed and produced an unhealthy amount of content within a short time frame. content that was fleeting, invaluable, and that kept me in a creative funk.

but, reluctantly, I said yes. not just to her, but to Jesus.

I had no idea that my “yes” would cost me everything.

I was being pruned—stripped naked of everything I thought was okay. my ideologies, my toxic traits, my wardrobe, my budding relationships, communities I was once a part of—all of it was being taken away. I thought I was losing my mind. 

I wanted to die.

I literally begged God to take away my life because the pain was unbearable. I planned to take away my own life back in June of 2023. It felt as if God was asking for too much from me.

all I wanted more than anything was for this part of my life to be over. I wanted peace. 

but over these past months of isolation, healing, learning, unlearning, and growing— I experienced God like never before. 

I believe God had to break me down before He could build me up again. and sometimes all you can offer Him is a broken spirit.

and that’s all that I had.

and I honestly thought that I would’ve never been able to heal. because I was looking to myself to do the healing that only Jehovah Rapha could.

I learned to surrender. I learned to give Him all of me— the good, the bad, the ugly, the things we hide from others-- all of it.

in this season, God was teaching me true love. that 1 Corinthians 13 love. 

He was teaching me that everything I needed in people or things, He already provided for. and all I had to do was allow Him to love me. 

and that was humbling. I felt so unworthy of His love. When you’ve been performing for attention for so long, you start to believe that that’s all you’re good for.

God is a gentleman, so He wouldn’t force Himself into my life. But I was at the end of myself. I had no idea how I was going to move forward. I didn’t even look past the age of 21 because I thought I would’ve been dead by now,

but God.

I hope this encourages you to keep going. because if the enemy had his way with me, I would’ve been dead. if the enemy had his way with you, you would’ve been dead. what the enemy wanted for me was to kill myself and my unborn child that would’ve been birthed out of covenant.

but God spared me. He showed me mercy. and now He is showing me His grace and continuing favor.

and in this season, I’m birthing something new. 

a new creation. a new creation in Christ.

and yeah, this is personal. so you may not understand why I jump as high as I do or sing as loud as I do, shout as loud as I do, cry as if no one’s listening, or dance like no one’s watching but Him.

paske Bondye soti lwen avem ("because God took me out a long way" in Haitian Creole)

 

and thank God I don't look like what I've been through.

and honestly, if it wasn't for the experiences, it would've never launched me into His arms, into my destiny, into who God has always called for me to be.

I finally understood the depth of His sacrifice. Every lash, every stripped piece of skin, every thorn that pierced through His skull, even the spear that pierced His side--I finally felt what He felt every time I choose my flesh, my sin, a counterfeit, my hiccup, over Him. it was as if I was placing Him back on that cross again.

and I had to get real with myself— I loved my sin more than I loved Him.

and I’m in awe of Him. He’s shown Himself to be everything I need and more. even when I turned away from Him, He was always there with open arms. and for that I’m grateful.

so as you can see, since I haven’t been consuming content, the Lord, the Creator inspired me to be creative like never before.

I started writing again. I started making music again. I got back into graphic designing, and scrapbooking, started a YouTube channel, and now a blog. and there's still more that the Lord is unveiling in this hour. we just have to be aware of it.

so if you feel like giving up, I’m here to encourage you to keep going. 

God’s got you sis (or bro lol)

and enjoy this collage I made.

and I will continue to reintroduce myself to you all because my Father is continuing to refine me.

my goal is to look like Jesus.

so peace and blessings to all who have read this far. 

till we meet again,

Cindy Donna

“the creative that came from The Creator.”